I wrote this post at the end of the September when things in my life were a bit different. Now they are a little better, I have found a different job that pays better and offers better hours, but still I'm not where I would like to be in life. After have been sitting in my drafts for a couple of months it's time to post it.
No new posts in August? Yes, August was a horrible month, a veritable circle jerk of stress and bad news. It all started on the 14th of August when I came close to having a nervous breakdown at work and went home ill after only being there for only three hours. Since then life has been full of continuous ups and downs, but hasn't been what I would consider pleasant. For every good day there is a bad one and the work related stress shows no signs of letting up anytime soon. Right now I'm just going to come out and say I pretty much hate everything about my job, sure there are a few things that I like but the negatives outweigh the positives. Twelve hour shift nights and threats of working all weekend or mandatory overtime for little pay are not at all what I'm looking for in life- if I can even say I have a life as all I do is work and sleep. It is frustrating because I do hold a four year university degree yet I cannot find work that I am qualified for, at the moment I'm vastly underemployed. I know that maybe someday, if I can stick it out where I am now I might be able to get into the position I would like to be in because the job is in the field I went to school for, but I hate what I'm doing now and I really don't care all that much for my coworkers, who love what they are doing and all the overtime. It does not help when I get the feeling they are trying to cohearse me into working the extra hours (which at the moment are not mandatory) because they love what they do and they live to work and think I should be just like them (and I want to be nothing like most of them).
I've also come to the realization that factory work is rather frightening and demeaning. It's almost like being back in high school where there are people always watching you, waiting for you to slip up just so they can punish you for some minor infraction. You show up a minute late it counts against you even if you have car trouble, you get sick and call in or have to go home you're in more trouble. Do either more than three times in a single month and you get written up. Better forget about personal days, you don't get those and oh yes, if it's busy you might have to work on a holiday (sure you get paid extra, but is is really worth it?). If you sign up for vacation, receive it and then mandatory overtime comes up you work it or get fired (you're completely replaceable, they'll have a temp taking your place in less than an hour). You cannot leave the premises at break so it's soggy microwaved food or endless sandwiches, just writing this makes me gag. To add to all of this, it is also noisy and dirty, the dust sets off my allergies shortly after clocking in. As you read this you might be thinking I'm writing about a factory in some developing country, but I'm not, this is happening in US where already a hundred years before workers were trying to abolish these labor practices.
I know I could leave, but where I would go I don't know. Going to another factory would more than likely mean more of the same, retail or working in any kind of shop is out of the question. All of the good jobs require years of experience regardless of education, or there is little turn over, or are too far away (I can't afford to move to another city right now and I am not at all an apartment dweller anyway and renting is like throwing money away, foolish if you ask me).